The New Tax – on *your* CO2

Wed, Apr 7, 2010

Taxation

(This post is, of course, tougue in cheek, but since the Obama Administration’s EPA recently declared CO2 (the stuff we exhale) to be a pollutant, is it really such a stretch?)

Our current administration in Washington is seeking new ways to raise money for all the new entitlements they are creating.  Almost everything is being taxed.  They have overlooked one thing, though.  They have yet to establish a tax on breathing.  Here is what we might expect in the way of introduction and public announcement of a new public policy.

For too many years, citizens have taken for granted the air we breathe.  It is too valuable a resource to be casually consumed, wasted and ignored as the valuable asset that it is.  To reassure the public as to the worth of air, your government will levee a tax on your consumption.

Each citizen over the age of 13 will be required to purchase and wear a breath-ometer.  Your breath-ometer will be sold and distributed by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), and will measure the number of breaths each citizen takes each month.  The IRS will require, on the first day of each month, that each citizen either report to an IRS Breath Center to have his or her breath-ometer records entered into the IRS tax data base, or citizens may interface their breath-ometer with a computer peripheral, which will be sold separately.  A tax will be assessed on each breath.

Your government recognizes that financially less fortunate citizens may not be able to afford the purchase of breath-ometers.  For that reason, they will be supplied at no cost to the needy, and the expense absorbed by the wealthy – say those earning over $50,0000 per year.

Since each breath consumed results in the exhale of CO2, the tax levied on each breath will not only collect income on each breath consumed, but also tax the CO2 pollution generated by each breath.  For those who wish to do so, carbon offsets may be purchased from Al Gore.  The purchase of carbon offsets will decrease the tax on each breath by 30%.

For further information about the Breath-ometer Program, see the web page www.hotair.gov.

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Dr.  Barry Jacobs is a Reproductive Endocrinologist, practicing in Carrollton, Texas, a northern suburb of Dallas. He completed his residency training in obstetrics and gynecology at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, and remained at that institution to become its first fellow once Baylor achieved accreditation for an advanced training program in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. Dr. Jacobs has served on the faculty of several medical schools and was director of Reproductive Endocrinology at Texas Tech Health Science Center in Amarillo. Currently, in addition to his clinical activities caring for infertile patients and those with recurrent pregnancy loss, he is Chairman of the IVF committee at Baylor Medical Center in Carrollton.

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- who has written 15 posts on Small Business Against Big Government.

Dr. Jacobs is a native Texan, who grew up in Beaumont, 90 miles east of Houston. After graduating from the local college and he attended the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston, where he received his degree as a doctor of medicine. He then spent a year in Los Angeles as a surgery intern and returned to Texas to receive specialty training in obstetrics and gynecology. His OB-GYN residency training program was interrupted when he was called to serve his country during the Viet Nam war. While stationed at a pilot training base outside of Lubbock, Texas, he saw several patients each month who complained they were having difficulty becoming pregnant. Recognizing his own poor knowledge in the area of infertility, he assumed he would gain that education when he completed his OB-GYN training. He was mistaken. At the conclusion of his OB-GYN residency, he knew no more about helping infertile couples than he did while in the Air Force. Being dissatisfied with his inadequate abilities in the realm of infertility, he spent 2 more years in a fellowship studying nothing except Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility. One year of the fellowship was devoted to basic research of ovarian physiology, during which time, he and his mentor and collaborator were able to make a small but landmark contribution to the scientific and medical literature. After completing his formal training, Dr. Jacobs has spent a number of years both as faculty at various medical schools and in private practice. Even in private practice, he remains an educator. Instead of teaching medical students and OB-GYN residents, he educates his patients as to their problems and treatment options. As part of his efforts to teach others what he knows, he has made his web page, www.texasfertility.com, as informative as he can. He derives a great deal of pleasure working with couples and trying to help them. New information and understanding of human reproduction is progressing rapidly. For that reason, Dr. Jacobs devotes a large amount of time reading the current medical literature and participating in continuing medical education seminars. His desire is to provide the best quality care for infertile patients, while trying to make them feel comfortable with the difficult and stressful processes they must endure in their efforts to become parents. In addition to his clinical responsibilities, Dr. Jacobs currently serves as chairman of the IVF Committee at Baylor Medical Center in Carrollton, Texas.

One Response to “The New Tax – on *your* CO2”

  1. Nick Jones Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Has anyone presented this idea to Obama?? A great way to ruin his reelection (more) would be to tax the freedom of life. Don’t put it past Obama though, he has “change” we can believe in, and is looking for bills we can believe in, expect taxes on the untaxable for this near facist leader. Great Article.